"." Reality check!

Hey guys,
Welcome to my blog or if you're coming back then hello again.

Last night, the night of the new year, I didn't sleep. Not because I was partying hard but for other annoying reasons... Otherwise known as a screaming baby. No the baby is not mine before people start jumping to conclusions but the baby's mother is barely fit to be one and I'm not just saying this out of spite. She can barely look after herself! But while I was awake I was on Pinterest just fangirling when I came across a quote which I knew to be true oh so well and found a few more before deciding that's what I wanted to do. I want to get real with you guys. I want to open up. I have a load of problems and no one to talk to about them. So, this is my way of venting. Even if no one reads my blog I find it relaxing reading through old ones to see the milestone I have over come.

"My current situation is not my permanent destination."

This I find to be so true as I am always dreaming of a better life. I know I will find my happiness once I have my dream. Well, I hope so anyway. I have the dream of becoming an actress. It took a lot of work to find myself but I finally made it. I'm currently in college on a course for performing arts. I have never wanted something so much in my life and I try and work towards it almost everyday. My current situation is being stuck in the same place with the same routine. I want change. That's all I need so I am going to aspire to do at least one thing a day to make me a happier person or do something which will get me a step closer to moving away to America and becoming an actress. I know the chances of me making it in the show business is slim to non but some people have to do it.

Whenever I get anxious about if I'm making the right decisions in life I always overthink it deeply. The chances of me being born was 1 in 400 billion. The chances of become an actress is wider than that. I am willing to put all of my effort into becoming who I want to be. I want to be happy, I don't want to be anxious, I want to go for walks and I want to be in shape. Normally, I think I am a shape... Round is a shape but I mean it when I say 'I can make it!'.
I've gotten so sick of putting myself down and saying that I can't do something because I'm not pretty or because I wasn't good enough but I now I mean war. I've recently gained the motivation to push myself. In dance class, I shattered my ankle doing a flip terribly because I can't dance and even though every time I landed badly and limped home bruised and bleeding, the most satisfying thing was when I stuck the landing knew that I worked hard to do it.

My permanent destination. I believe my permanent destination is acting. I've always wanted to be a performer and I always hid it away and ignored it but all I did was waste my own time. I always knew what I wanted yet there I was lying to myself as I said I didn't because I didn't believe I could make it.
I hope one day I read back on this and have proven my old me wrong,
Girls alias.